My second week is halfway over. Hard to believe. Tomorrow the last of the three other volunteers is leaving and as much as I like adventuring on my own, I really am going to miss her adventursome spirit, wanting to get as much out of life as possible. I've already missed the other two ladies. "Iown iown, beth, bernog...hehe" But God has been good. This week my body chose to wear down. I have some allergy chain reaction thing going on with my left eye and nostril, then my throat has started to swell up...but nothing too serious that I haven't been able to hold the precious babies and work at the church. :-)
To be honest, I've felt more exhausted emotionally than anything. I feel like he's crept into my personal life and as most of you may know, not having good communication with someone is the quickest way to make me feel alienated, but the good thing has been that God has been working with me to keep pushing me back into him. So, I know when I don't feel like I can put trust in the ones that I love and want to grow in life with, that I can trust God. Then I know that if they are leaning in to Him as well, then it will all turn out as it should be. Not only that, but as long as I truely, whole hearted trust in God, I know that he'll guard my ways.
Proverbs 4:26 (or somewhere around there...) Above all, protect your heart....
All of this aside, God has continually reminded me that it's not about me. It's not about the lacking that feel or the doubts that I have or even my issecurities that I'll end up short again. None of that matters, I mean it does, but God's will is greater and right now it's about being the vessel in which He can work through. I've read and heard that saying time and time again about laying down my cross, to pick up His. To set my feelings aside to completely, genuinely be there for others, that God my speak through me...or just be there...
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